I Love You, But I Have To Do It

Love is something that everybody wishes for. And if we have found it, we do not want to let it go so fast. We want to keep it, improve it and enjoy every moment with the one we love. Sometimes we forget our own wishes and dreams about it, because being with that one person is everything we want for the moment. But maybe we will regret our decisions not to fulfill our dreams in the future.

"If I only had gone there! I always wanted to go abroad and had the chance, when I was young. But I had this amazing boyfriend and I wanted to stay with him. He wouldn't let me go and I would have missed him too much, anyways."
Do you want to be someone who says that in the future? There are many young women and men that meet someone and don't go abroad because they are scared that the relationship won't make it, that one is not strong enough to keep the relationship up, while they are in another country.
It is normal for everyone that it's hard to leave the partner and live in another part of the world for some time. But true love can do it, it's all about trust and being faithful to eachother.

Saying Goodbye

Foto: Shutterstock/Arvitalyaa

The hardest part will be to say "Goodbye". There you are, at the airport. Holding the hand of your partner one last time, looking into each others eyes, wiping each other's tears away, the last kiss and off you go. A new adventure is waiting for you!
The decision to fulfill your dream and go abroad was the right one! A relationship is also there to encourage each other and let your partner know, that you are going to be there, no matter what.
Of course being close to your love is something that you are going to miss, but you have to see the positive side of the technology nowadays. You can talk on Whatsapp, see what the other one is doing on Facebook and you can skype. Skype, probably the best invention for long distance relationships.

How much contact is good and healthy?

In times of WhatsApp and Facebook everybody has the chance to talk to friends and family 24/7. How much you should talk to the ones you left home is a personal decision, yet there are things that you have to think about.

Foto: Shutterstock/Suriya Yapin

Firstly, you took these months or this year to experience something new, to meet new people, to learn the language and see the world. With your eyes on your phone all the time, it is quite hard to actually enjoy everything that is happening around you. If you constantly send messages, that you miss your boyfriend or girlfriend you will barely find the time to concentrate on other things and especially other people.
Secondly, as an au pair you work and at work you should keep your phone in your pocket and only use it in emergencies. You have to concentrate on the host kids, on the road while driving and on your tasks that you have to take care of.
Thirdly, there will probably be a time difference that will make it difficult to skype with friends and family anyways. Maybe you find a day a week to call your partner, maybe it will get less by the time. But you and him/her will think about each other if it's true love, so you do not have to worry that he/she is going to forget you.

Always include your partner in your new life abroad. Let him/her know what you are up to, how you are feeling, what's new, what's old. Have you found a new hobby that you would like to try with him/her? Talk about it. Don't text all the time. Send a few texts during the day, but do not overdo it. You still need things to talk about when you skype.

A new life!

Do not forget that you wanted to go abroad for a reason! Enjoy the time with new friends. To cancel on people, because you have to skype is not a good idea. You need friends when you are in another country. Especially because there will be one thing, that you will miss, and that skype can't take care of: everybody needs a hug from time to time. You will probably get a hug from your host kids, but to get a friendly hug is a really nice thing. So to get a hug, you need friends, and to have friends you can't be on your phone all the time.

Since you are getting to know other people, they keyword is "trust". You want to be able to trust your partner and be sure that nothing will happen, while you are not in your home country too. So do not give your boyfriend or girlfriend a reason not to trust you. Tell the truth about everything. If you go out to a bar, just say it as it is! It's a bar, people meet, they drink, they dance. Be honest and don't tell him/her another story only so he/she doesn't worry. Jealousy can kill every relationship, so respect each other and don't do anything that would hurt you, if your partner did that to you!

You can make it! True love can make it!
And if there will be the day that you decide, that you can't hold up this relationship or your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up, that see the positive point of it: you can concentrate on your stay abroad 100% and you don't have to worry to do anything wrong.

To become an au pair, go to AuPair.com, register, create a profile and find a host family.

This post is also available in: German